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Former President George W. Bush has a memoir coming out soon. Between this and Justin Bieber’s book, this could be the biggest year ever for literature. (Jimmy Kimmel)
Former President Bush was on “Oprah.” It was Oprah’s annual “Least Favorite Things” episode. (Kimmel)
Former President George W. Bush was on “Oprah.” When asked about being the leader of the free world, Oprah said, “It’s not bad.” (Conan)
Former President George W. Bush is releasing a book called “Decision Points.” I’ve already made a decision not to buy it. (David Letterman)
Former President George W. Bush released a book. Unfortunately, because of his economic policies, no one can afford to buy it. (Letterman)
Former President George W. Bush reveals in his book that he considered dropping Dick Cheney to prove he was in charge. But then Cheney nixed the idea. (Fallon)
"Congrats on getting the World Cup"
Sen. John McCain said it’s time for a regime change in North Korea. To which the Carrows waitress said, “Sir, if you don’t order now, you’re going to miss the early bird special.” (leno)
North Korea attacked South Korea by brazenly firing mortars into their country. Apparently what happened was, Kim Jong Il got angry over the fact that Bristol Palin made it to the finals of “Dancing With the Stars.” (leno)
Experts say that North Korea’s Kim Jon Il may not be responsible for bombing South Korea, and it may have been his son. Kids grow up so fast. (Ferguson)
It’s a harsh indictment of our media as we lurch toward possible nuclear war on the Korean peninsula, we’re all talking about “Dancing With the Stars.” Isn’t it time journalists start asking the hard questions like, “What does Kim Jong Il think of ‘Dancing With the Stars’?” (Ferguson)
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WikiLeaks has released thousands of classified documents that could be detrimental to the United States. Usually, when something this embarrassing about the United States is revealed, it’s because Joe Biden said it. (Leno)
WikiLeaks is a website that gets a hold of classified information and releases it to the public. They get all kinds of top secret stuff: White House memos, government e-mails, the truth about Lady Gaga . . . (Ferguson)
The name “WikiLeaks” doesn’t sound like espionage. It sounds like Barbara Walters interviewing Ricky Martin. (Ferguson)
It’s my 30th wedding anniversary. I had a big surprise set up for my wife, but she found out about it on WikiLeaks. (Leno)
Rep. Peter King says WikiLeaks presents a clear and present danger to our national security and should be branded a terrorist organization. Former Vice President Dick Cheney says we should waterboard the Internet. (Kimmel)
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On Monday I posted a selection of Peter Kay adverts, one of them featuring Danny Baker. Later on that afternoon it was announced on his blog that Danny has cancer. I had no advance knowledge of this. (I normally do adverts on the 1st of the month – you can check that on the stats).
Danny is a hero of mine. I once knocked on his door as a market researcher, he politely said no, and I rang his radio 1 show that weekend and jovially asked the producer if he wanted to do the survey on air. They never called me back. I did speak to the great man again on Virgin radio, when I told him the Dali Llama was staying in my street, and had bumped my neighbours car (true story).
Danny is a radio legend. Before the illness, you could catch him 5 days a week for just two hours a day on BBC London 94.9 FM and saturday mornings on 5live also two hours 9am-11am. (IS TWO THE MAGIC NUMBER FOR DANNY?)
Below is a clip from his BBC1 saturday night chat show in the 90s. I think it was modelled on the American chat shows of the time (letterman Leno Carson) but the style never caught on for a daily show here, although years later Graham Norton tried it on Channel 4 before moving to the Beeb.
After his own chat show, Danny met Chris Evans at GLR (the forerunner of the current BBC London) and later became a writer for TFI Friday which catapulted Evans to fame.
Danny is starting chemo soon, lets hope he beats it, and gets back to doing what he does best, entertaining his fans. DANNY is quite simply, irreplaceable.
AHOY HOY CANDYMANN!!
More of grweat Danny clips coming up over the next few weeks…
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Top Ten Surprises At Chelsea Clinton’s Wedding
10. Rehearsal dinner held at the Rhinebeck Denny’s
9. Al Gore kept asking bridesmaids for massage
8. Cash gifts went to pay Hillary’s campaign debt
7. Due to double booking, reception shared space with Benjy Rosenthal Bar Mitzvah
6. Snooki punched the DJ
5. Minister and rabbi told hilarious story about the time they walked into a bar
4. Roger Clinton was working as the bartender
3. Ceremony was so expensive, President Obama offered a government bailout — We’ll be right back with jaywalking, folks!
2. Madeleine Albright can open a Heineken bottle with her thighs
1. Bill Clinton is still at the bachelor party
"You left it there how long?"
A New York City artist kept a McDonald’s happy meal on her kitchen table, untouched, for six months. It did not decompose at all. It looks the exactly the same. In fact, the toy actually decomposed quicker than the hamburger.
Red onions are supposed to be good for lowering cholesterol. They say that if you eat one red onion a day, you’ll live alone, but you’ll live longer.
Starting in January, couples can actually get married at McDonald’s in Hong Kong. I’m not saying those marriages won’t work, but when have you been to a McDonald’s and not regretted it one hour later?
A New York City artist kept a McDonald’s happy meal on her kitchen table, untouched, for six months. Is it too much to ask for Obama to sort out healthcare in six months?
Starting in January, couples can actually get married at McDonald’s in Hong Kong. I’m 50/50 on this idea. On the plus side “hey honey finally found a reception venue in our budget – and guess what – the napkins are free”! On the downside, when are they gonna bring back the rootbeer?
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Letterman’s “Top Ten Ways Barack Obama Celebrated His Birthday”
10. Sent troops to invade a Cold Stone Creamery
9. Read details of his surprise party on WikiLeaks
8. Got a new fake birth certificate he wanted
7. Read ‘Eat Pray Love’ and bawled his eyes out
6. Asked birthday party magician if he could make Sarah Palin disappear
5. Fist-bumped with Snooki and The Situation
4. Went to Pizzeria Uno for their ‘Shrimp & Crab Fun-Doo’ with the guys from NORAD
3. Flew Air Force One to Party Depot to buy helium balloons
2. Sat alone watching ‘Real Housewives‘ marathon on Bravo
1. Stuffed Tony Hayward full of nickels and beat him like a pinata