The airports in Europe are closed due to the volcano erupting. Smoke and ash is spreading all over Europe. Meteorologists originally thought it was coming from Willie Nelson’s tour bus.
You can’t fly an airplane through an ash plume because the engines will be shut down faster than Mel Gibson at a bar mitzvah.
I’m aware that the only reason you people are here tonight is volcanic ash. I know that.
The big volcanic cloud from Iceland is making its way over to New York City. They say that the city’s air quality is actually improving.
Because of the volcano in Iceland, thousands of travelers are stranded with no place to sleep, eat, or shower. This is the kind of thing that can really take the fun out of air travel.
The name of the volcano is Eyjafjallajökull. It’s the scariest thing out of Iceland since Björk in that swan outfit.
The volcano cloud is gritty ash and it’s making its way toward Russia. In fact, Sarah Palin can see it from her house.
The bad news today: regular airline service is resuming.
Is anyone here stranded because of the volcano? Well, that’s what you get for traveling during volcano season.
Because of the volcano, the airlines lost $2 billion. Usually, all they lose is my luggage.
A volcano in Iceland has shut down air travel all across Europe. Apparently they dumped too much baking soda and vinegar into the thing and it just won’t stop erupting.
President Obama had to cancel his trip to Poland, and this morning he said he hopes the volcano will stop smoking soon. And the volcano said the same thing about him.
The giant cloud of ash over Amsterdam is so bad that you can’t even see the giant cloud of hashish.
For those of you visiting from Iceland, happy Ash Wednesday.
The British government sent a warship to France to bring home stranded Britons. There was an embarrassing moment — when the ship pulled up to the port, the French immediately surrendered.
The volcano was spewing out so much ash that now, the Catholic Church is saying it couldn’t even see what it was doing wrong.
Travelers have been stranded in dozens of countries, but they’re finally allowing flights to take off to countries that no one likes.