Cheryl Cole

Who Was The Best Guest Judge on X-Factor?

Tomorrow: Who should be (guest) judges next year?

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This Weeks Best of The Late Night Monologues

Lady Gaga show

Image by A Hermida via Flickr

Leno

  • We’re now in the longest, deepest recession since the Great Depression. When this recession started, Lindsay Lohan was known for her acting.
  • President Obama says the Democrats are waking up. Which is great when you’re having a nightmare.
  • The economy is so bad, Justin Bieber had to take a factory job in China.
  • Christine O’Donnell has a new campaign ad where she says she’s not a witch. Nancy Pelosi was furious. She said, “Hey, that’s my slogan.”

Letterman

  • In his latest audio tape, bin Laden is talking about global warming. If he thinks it’s hot now, wait until he gets to hell.
  • Osama bin Laden keeps releasing audio tapes to show that he’s still relevant. Really? Audio tapes? How about an iPod download?
  • They say bin Laden keeps making these tapes to prove he’s still alive. It’s the same reason I do this show.

Radiogagger (UK)

  • If the world was fairer, it would be Kay Burley told to leave the UK and not Gamu from X Factor
  • Liverpool’s new owner will either be The Red Sox or Royal Bank of Scotland, either way on current they’ll win more games in the SPL or MLS
  • America have announced Rihanna as a new team member for the next Ryder Cup in Wales – and she’s bringing her umbrella-ella-ella

Ferguson

  • Research shows that the No. 1 place you can pick up infections from is a doorknob. That’s why I always lick doorknobs clean before using them.
  • One of the reasons it’s so hard to get rid of the rhinovirus is that it’s constantly evolving. Picture a germy Lady Gaga.

Fallon

  • The White House has issued an alert for American tourists traveling in Europe over fears of a terror attack. But the joke’s on you, terrorists. We can’t afford to go to Europe.
  • CBS reporter Howard Arenstein was arrested on Saturday for growing marijuana in his backyard. Which probably explains why all his news stories started with, “Dude, you’re not going to believe this!”
  • Christine O’Donnell released a commercial in which she says, “I’m not a witch.” That’s pretty good, though not as effective as her opponent’s slogan, “I’m not Christine O’Donnell.”

Maher

Today we found that a third college Christine O’Donnel said she attended had no record of ever knowing her. I’m starting to wonder if she ever went to Hogwarts.

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XStatic! What people are saying about #XFactor on Twitter

Cheryl Cole

Image via Wikipedia

The majority of these comments are from our resident writer/twitterer @radiogagger. The rest are credited where applicable.

What did Gamu say to upset Cheryl? My favourite footballer is Ashley Cole and I used to work in a nightclub toilet…

That girl band Belleamie are all over the place, should have worn matching clothes to make it less painful.

Simon knows that everyone wacthes the first few weeks for the freaks, then switches off, hence the high mental count in live stages.

so is it tracy, trace, tracey, treycy or trey?

they saving gamu till the last act yeah?

danni “this should be your dayjob” yeah but what about the clubcard points and attractive share buy scheme?

i’ve been to ballyfermin #xfactor come on mary

another one for mental factor i’d mentor, we could tour this lot, cher, katie, storm, shirlene, michael barrymore, anne widde-bomb

ned1984 on a scale of 1 to chico, how bad are these acts?

Simon “i’ve got news for you. I used to own that jacket.” amazing what you can pick up in the oxfam shop these days (paije)

cuddly louis van dross, lol at Louie. He got the dross bit right.. (paije)

Dermot: And paije where would you ad tonight if you hadn’t got the wild card?”  the all you can eat for a fiver buffet at a guess

alongside the +28s, boys, girls and groups, they’re should have a mental section, mentored or mentalled by me and @ladygaga

have diva fever come straight from the cycling show at earls court? Would explain the clothing.

i think if they’re letting mental people in (cher) then shirlena from whitechapel should be given a wildcard

does jamie redknapp know jls are using his wii box while he’s on the golf course (adbreak)

so they’ve stopped using auto-tuning then?

cher first line “people say.. That i am crazy..” (DUB BE GOOD TO ME)

Tunnellingluke My names Cher, I look like a 40 yr old crackwhore, my only performance of note was a solja boy cover, and Looks like I’m gonna win #xfactor

simon “it is what it is -batman does glam rock” dinner dinner dinner dinner fat man!  (STORM)

nicolo normal? Compared to who, norman wisdom?

Tunnellingluke Did I ever tell you bout the time I gave Usher dance lessons? ….. Nevermind it’ll keep 😉 #xfactor

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Pick And Misses of The Week

Nigella Lawson is Smexy

Image by Saima via Flickr

Hand picked, the stuff you should and a few you shouldn’t watch for the following week…

Saturday

BBC1 Michael McIntyres Comedy Roadshow – featuring Terry Alderton, John Bishop, Justin Moorhouse and Miles Jupp

ITV1 – X Factor (now all the freak auditions are finished it might become a miss until the final, but we’ll stick with it this week)

Sunday

Channel 4 – 27 Dresses (FILM)

MISS: My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, BBC Breakfast 6am (On A sunday, this is for insomniacs)

Monday

BBC2 Genius

E4 .Inbetweeners (but repeats on Channel 4 Friday)

BBC1 – Ask Rhod Gilbert

FIVE – The Gadget Show

Tuesday

BBC2 – Harry & Paul

Channel 4 – Wedding House

MISS: Grimefighters, conveniently scheduled against Eastenders (ITV have given up the ghost on this count)

Wednesday

Channel 4 – Food

BBC4 – Mad Men

MISS: Seven Days Channel 4 – really nothing much happened so far in two weeks.

Thursday

BBC2 – Mock The Week

BBc1  – Watchdog

BBC2 – Nigella Kitchen

SKY1 – Karl Pilkington : An Idiot Abroad

Friday

BBC1 – Strictly Come Dancing

BBC1 –Would I Lie To You

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