Business has been quiet

I doubt it would have took off – you hardly ever see cars in Corrie.

Apart from Streetcars. (Has anyone tried ringing the fictitious  Streetcars number?)

When someone leaves Eastenders, they always go by taxi (dot com), yet according to the map I have Walford is not in the zone…

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Tomorrow: Who should be (guest) judges next year?

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Former President George W. Bush has a memoir coming out soon. Between this and Justin Bieber’s book, this could be the biggest year ever for literature. (Jimmy Kimmel)

Former President Bush was on “Oprah.” It was Oprah’s annual “Least Favorite Things” episode. (Kimmel)

Former President George W. Bush was on “Oprah.” When asked about being the leader of the free world, Oprah said, “It’s not bad.” (Conan)

Former President George W. Bush is releasing a book called “Decision Points.” I’ve already made a decision not to buy it. (David Letterman)

Former President George W. Bush released a book. Unfortunately, because of his economic policies, no one can afford to buy it. (Letterman)

Former President George W. Bush reveals in his book that he considered dropping Dick Cheney to prove he was in charge. But then Cheney nixed the idea. (Fallon)

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Cohen known for his roles at youth channels E4 and BBC3. SO what kind of programmes will he commission for BBC1?

Jog marry Avoid

The One More Time Show…

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The Disney Channel canceled the Jonas Brothers’ TV show. Even worse, they had Goofy deliver the news. (Craig Ferguson)

Happy birthday to Woody Allen, who’s 75 today. It’s not easy to find a card that says, “Happy birthday, dad/husband.”

I was nominated for a Grammy in the Spoken Word category for an audio book of my autobiography. It’s the same category that Al Gore won a few years ago. Unfortunately, his spoken words were “I invented the Internet.”

My Grammy nomination brings me one step closer to my lifetime goal of losing every major award in Hollywood.

At the Grammy nominations, there was a live satellite hook-up with Justin Bieber. Little girls were screaming so much that they shattered something very valuable — Cher’s face.

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Biggest Loser

Deal or no deal fast like Ronnie  O’Sullivan plays snooker

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"Congrats on getting the World Cup"

Sen. John McCain said it’s time for a regime change in North Korea. To which the Carrows waitress said, “Sir, if you don’t order now, you’re going to miss the early bird special.” (leno)

North Korea attacked South Korea by brazenly firing mortars into their country. Apparently what happened was, Kim Jong Il got angry over the fact that Bristol Palin made it to the finals of “Dancing With the Stars.” (leno)

Experts say that North Korea’s Kim Jon Il may not be responsible for bombing South Korea, and it may have been his son. Kids grow up so fast. (Ferguson)

It’s a harsh indictment of our media as we lurch toward possible nuclear war on the Korean peninsula, we’re all talking about “Dancing With the Stars.” Isn’t it time journalists start asking the hard questions like, “What does Kim Jong Il think of ‘Dancing With the Stars’?” (Ferguson)

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