Diary of A Heroin Addict verses Diary of A Call Girl

In many cases, the above are one and the same.

Anyway, here’s somes photo’s…

Hot Socks

Guess What? A few more late night gags

The Jay Leno Show
According to CBS News, President Obama has played more golf in nine months than George Bush in nearly three years. Actually, Obama is a good golfer. Do you know what his handicap is? Joe Biden.

Former Vice President Dick Cheney accused the White House of “dithering” over the strategy in Afghanistan.Today the White House said they’re thinking it over, and they should have a response within six to eight weeks.

In a speech in Canada, former President George W. Bush said he was proud that while he was in office he “didn’t sell his soul,” which is true. He rented it to Dick Cheney, who then sublet it to Halliburton

The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien
The latest on those two Northwest Airline pilots who flew 150 miles past their landing site is that they weren’t napping, they were using their laptops. Passengers knew they were in trouble when they heard, “Good afternoon. This is your captain tweeting . . .”

Late Show with David Letterman
They say President Barack Obama is playing a lot of golf. He’s played more golf in his few months in office than George Bush played in his eight years. To be fair, Bush played more mini golf

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
Happy birthday to Hillary Clinton. The president wished her happy birthday and asked her what she wanted, and she said, “Your job.”

Bill Clinton is planning a romantic dinner . . . then he’ll go home and see Hillary.

Yesterday was the 25th anniversary of the movie “Terminator.” “Terminator” was the movie we liked so much we elected it governor

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
The No. 1 movie at the box office this weekend was “Paranormal Activity.” It’s a low-budget horror film about a couple that sets up a camera in their bedroom at night. The horror comes when she keeps waking him up to talk about their relationship.

A woman in Malaysia got free air travel for life after she gave birth during a flight. I don’t know, I don’t think you should be rewarded for having a baby on a plane. You should be rewarded for sitting next to someone having a baby on a plane

In New York, a woman was charged with assault after spraying her cab driver with pepper spray. On the bright side, it was the closest thing the cabbie’s had to a shower in months.

The University of Chicago wants to house the Barack Obama Presidential Library. It will be just like George W. Bush’s library, except it will have books.

Paul Merton In Europe – Channel Five

2010
Champions League Round of 32
Paul Merton v Sporting Lisbon
Ist leg at Comedy Store, London
Tickets available shortly to members first, and general public after.

2nd leg – Sporting Lisbon v Paul Merton
Tickets available via official club travel scheme to members only.

The winner of the above tie will play Shaktar Donuts or FC Swampy in the Round of 16.
Posted by William Shakespeare.

Conan The Bar Tender

The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien
Hi, I’m Conan O’Brien, and I’ve been practicing the phrase, “Who ordered the mochaccino grande?”

According to a new TV Guide poll, 83 percent of voters want me to stay at 11:35. When he heard this poll number, President Obama asked, “How can I get NBC to screw me over?”

Hi, I’m Conan O’Brien and I need all of you to write me a letter of recommendation.

NBC has a new slogan and the slogan is “More colorful.” They may be telling the truth because they are about to get rid of the whitest guy on television.

Last night at the Golden Globes, Julia Roberts said that NBC was in the toilet. NBC was upset and toilets were furious.

Late Show with David Letterman
Conan is getting $30 million to leave NBC. That’s like getting a bonus to leave the Titanic.

People are worried about NBC. Earlier today, President Obama announced that he’s sending in 30,000 troops.

Conan says he wants to work for a network that’s more trustworthy than NBC. How about Al Jazeera?

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
It’s raining so hard here in L.A., I saw Jay Leno steal Conan’s umbrella.

The Jay Leno Show
There were so many rain clouds in L.A. today, I could barely see the dark cloud hanging over NBC.

Celebrity Big Brother

Nicola’s first words on Live Tv to Davinas question ‘What don’t you want to see in the house?’
“I don’t wanna see other housemates skidmarks…”
Classy.
Has anyone ever dated a page 3 girl (idol no less) for their brains??…

Late Night News: Conan Out, Leno Later

And Here’s What The Monologues had to say…

The Jay Leno Show
Conan will be leaving The Tonight Show, and I’ve chosen to stay on the Titanic.

The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien
I’m Conan O’Brien, future Donkey Kong champion.

NBC and I have finally reached a separation agreement. I knew it was official this morning when NBC dropped off all my CDs and picked up its lava lamp.

As you all know by now, tomorrow is our last show here. I’d like to apologize to the guests that were scheduled for next week: President Barack Obama, the Pope, the queen of England, and our good friend, Elvis Presley

One In, One Out - Late Night

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
Today officially marks the beginning of President Obama’s second year in office. He has three years left, but NBC offered him $45 million to leave altogether.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
It’s a great day for America, and a great day for American television. And no, I’m not resigning. (Ferguson was talking about MTV programme Jersey Shore)

Jimmy Kimmel Live!
I just want to mention that if anyone wants to pay me $45 million to go home, I’ll go.

If putting Leno back on at 11:30 doesn’t work, the plan is to close down NBC and turn It into a Costco.

Celebrity Quitters on Channel 5

I managed to quit watching after about three minutes!
SUCCESS!

GENERATION XXL

Screened Channel 4 in two parts.
It wouldn’t fit into One show.
(Next episode Monday January 11th)

Gavin and Stacey

So the final episode has been screened on New Years Day. FINISHED. OVER. CLOSURE.

Will the next series be called SMITHY & NESSA?

What's Occuring?

Rosie Webster Gets Job as Promotion Girl

pic c/o ITV

Buy One Get One Free

pic c/o ITV